Father's Day

My four year old filled in the blanks on this:

My DaD is 2 feet tall
My Dad weighs 5 lbs (great, I'm a pencil thin midget)
In the morning my Dad wakes me up
My favorite thing to do with my Dad is to paint
Dad is funniest when he does puppets
I think my Dad is the greatest because he dresses like a king. (king of garbage land apparently)
My Dad likes to play dress up (OMG -- I am a homo)

Try doing this with your kids; they really do say the darndest things

Conversation with your Kid
Kid: "We don't say shutup or stupid"
Me: "Yes, that's right."
Kid: "We don't say tits or cock"
(silence)
Me: "Um, yes thats true, and lets not tell your mother about this."

Moral: Be careful of what you say with little ears around.
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Wife, giving me the stink eye: "Who's kelly?"
Me: "Kelly, who the hell is that?" (what? do I have Alzheimers!)
Wife: "[my daughter] says Kelly comes over after I go to work, and you guys 'play' together."
Me: "I have no idea who your talking about. " Looking at kid, "Who's Kelly?"
Kid: "My imaginary friend."

Moral: Imaginary people are a pain in the ass